A friendship across the sea

Linh and I have been best friends since we were twelve. We sat next to each other at school, studied for the same exams and went everywhere on her old motorbike. So when she got a scholarship to study engineering in Osaka, I was happy for her, but I also felt a bit afraid. I wondered whether our friendship could survive the distance.

The first months were the hardest. Japan is only two hours ahead of Vietnam, so the time difference was not the problem. The problem was that our lives were suddenly so different. She was busy with classes and a part-time job, and I was starting my first job in Can Tho. We rarely had the energy to talk properly in the evenings, and our messages became shorter and shorter.

Then we tried something new. Every Sunday evening we had a 'tea date' on video. We each made a cup of tea, sat down and talked for half an hour, with no other screens and no distractions. Some weeks we had big news to share; other weeks we just complained about the weather. It didn't matter. What mattered was the regular connection.

I also learnt that a long-distance friendship is not the same as a friendship on pause. We can't share every moment, so we share the important ones. When her grandmother was ill last winter, I visited her family in person and sent her photos. When I was nervous before a big presentation at work, she stayed up late to help me practise.

Of course, I miss her presence. A video call cannot replace a long ride together through the city at night. But her absence has taught me that friendship does not depend on being in the same place. It depends on effort from both sides. Next summer she is coming home for three weeks, and we have already planned our first trip: the same coffee shop where we used to do our homework.