Teaching my grandmother to video call

Last year my grandmother turned seventy-eight, and my uncle gave her a smartphone as a present. She had used the same small phone with buttons for over ten years, and at first she refused to touch the new one. 'I am too old for this,' she said, and she put it back in its box. My uncle lives in Germany, so he was disappointed. He had hoped to see her face on video calls instead of just hearing her voice.

In the end, the job of teaching her fell to me, because I live closest. I soon learnt that the process was going to be slow. Every instruction that seemed simple to me left her completely confused. Why did the screen go dark? Where had the photos gone? Which button meant 'yes'? She was frequently afraid that she would break something, so she pressed everything very gently, and then nothing happened.

After a few difficult afternoons, I changed my approach. Instead of explaining everything at once, I focused on one task each visit. First, we practised answering a call. Then we learnt to open the photos my uncle sent. I wrote each step on a piece of paper in large letters, and she kept it next to the phone. Little by little, her confidence grew.

The real turning point came one Sunday morning. The phone rang while I was in the kitchen, and before I could help, she answered it herself. Suddenly my uncle's face appeared on the screen. She was so surprised that she laughed and nearly dropped the phone. They talked for almost an hour, and she even showed him the plants on her balcony.

Now she calls him every weekend without any help, and she has become curious about other apps too. She occasionally still gets stuck, for example when an update changes the layout of the screen, but she is no longer scared. Teaching her taught me something as well. When older people seem unable to use technology, the problem is often not their age. They simply need someone who will explain things slowly and give them time to try.